Vanish

Something about me...I'm not quite sure wether I should or I shouldn't post something like this. I'm not used to self expression, and hardly ever say things when and how I must. I'm just feeling like beheading myself in order to supress the feelings inside of me. I'd rather not, actually, continue writing but somehow I must, I really must.
Am I ever gonna find the way out? dunno....hope so, I guess. I've been sadly dwelling in my mind for far too much time. Hiding? perhaps. Something that really pisses me off is when ppl don't really tell you how they feel, they just conceal it and say nothing but YOU KNOW they're not being truthful...I do it, yea, but I know when and who I must do it to. I forget all the times when I've tried to pull myself ot of the bed and get up. You might not know what the feeling is like, you just don't feel like getting up at all, not for the day, not for life....I've become familiarized with that, somehow. Conceited, Egomaniac, Self centered, that's how I feel now that I'm writing this. It's as if I just cared about myself, huh? MAybe I should, whtvr...
I'm just tired...I'm definitely tired of everything, and everyone. I got really pissed today when I saw I'd ran out of harmful pills that usually hang in my cabinet. haha...pissed for not having anything to make me feel so sick physically that i'd forget about my heart, my mind...that's darn pathetic, vanishing would be the only way....haha.....
never love, ok? never do....make a vow never to love, ok? do it for me, and for yourself as well....love....he....cruel little feeling...jus get me a dagger and end it, right? coward...yes, coward, that's what I know I am....a damned coward. Evby...go to hell and e-mail me, will you?