Something to laugh about.

You know there's this thing that happens to many of us...this feeling of lack of purpose.
I for one, tend to gravitate between objectives, my ability to reach them generally failing two out of three tries.
The truth is, it's extremely hard to find something you're willing to give a hundred and ten percent to. It's almost impossible to find something you're so very passionate about.
Some people do though.
Which to me is awesome.
Because I'm either too passionate about everything or lack passion alltogether.
I find excitement in the most absurd things. I fall for shiny, small, melodic, wonderful whatevers that lie in my life path.
I sometimes feel I'm like a kid, still finding interest and beauty in everything in front of me.
Soem other times I find myself rejecting every one of my thoughts and likes...they seem unimportant, brief...useless.
I always find something to think about,
to cry about,
to grin about,
to talk about,
bug about...
but I only find some peace of mind when I find something to laugh about.

Find a rat nailed to your door...

Dude that's disgusting, clean it up.

Creative writing...a basic form of communication...based on lack of edition.

No, really, there's this thing I like to call....
....
....
....
....

Suspense...

When you write and pour yourself...(or whatever you're on) onto a piece of paper or keyboard, there's an energy that grows in you and bursts out.
I hate the part of writing that involves thinking.
I love the part of thinking that involves writing.
It is strange how I don't need to stop and think what I want to say when I write here. It must have something to do with the fact there's only two people in the globe who read this and the other fact...that I don't give a darn anyways.
Well, I might give a darn, otherwise what would be the point in writing at all?
Though I do enjoy rereading my own blogs...lame.
It is definitely funny what people do when they write factlessly and simply based on personal experiences on anything related to being unrelated with anything.
(I took a deep breath after that one, I forgot to do it while I wrote ... which is something I shoud probably worry about if it starts happening too often unless I want to lose some more brain function....yeah, more).
There's no point in trying to find reason in my texts....seriously...don't try...it's a waste of your time...the only reason why I write is because there's a pressure pump in my head that sometimes starts pushing too hard and need to be let out...somehow. I really did try banging my head against the wall...but this is way better...Let alone the fact that the lack or bruising is kind of appealing.
Unless you're an emo...no offense, hope the reply is none taken, though I seriously doubt anyone in their right mind reads this blog...then again...I could be wrong...or not...wanna bet? bet ya it's no more than 5 or 6....and the bloody cowards don't leave comments....
Listen it's like a pub or a whore, if you used it and enjoyed it, then tell your friends and relatives about it....well maybe not the whore.
Or maybe not the pub...
Depends of what kinds of people you hang with.
You know there's this crazy thing called improvising that makes me go wild on the net....I can kinda say whatever the fuck I want, especially when it's not a website that censores every swear word....god would I be lost...
You'd need a lot of brains to figure out that all the ****** are not constellations or a map to a treasure island. Hell yeah.

Well...I'm done for the night...but just in case I'll say I'm just done for the post...maybe I'll come again later....you never know.

Kiss kiss

Poker everything

There's this song I enjoy listening to nonstop...acoustic version only, poker face. I believe music can cover almost any state of mind, of heart, of heartbreak.
There are only a couple other things that reflect it...in my case...my writing, my health and my ability of speech.
I guess there's not much to it really, just random shocks of light between certain parts of my nervous system. Things have become quite dull lately. Work, sleep, food...I'm starting to think that there's really nothing that nourishes me...or maybe I'm just too tired of trying to find whatever it is.
The truth is, I've never considered that things might just happen for no reason at all...I need to believe there is a connection, a cause and a consequence. But I don't seem to find them at all. It's frustrating in a whole new level.
I used to find myself completely amazed when I met certain people. I used to sculpt statues commemorating them in my mind, with beautifully entwined words of awe, of praise, growing around them like poison ivy.
I don't know if I've finally achieved that "level up" in my subconcious, or if I'm just not getting any younger and age is starting to eat up my reaction to awesomeness...or perhaps statues were made based on false foundations and my inner engineer is telling me to tear them down.
I believe there's nothing wrong with growing up, as long as you don't grow old in the process...age gracefully...that's something to take into account, only soul-wise.
Perhaps there is nothing I can do about it and I'm finally doomed to become one of those people who really have nothing to say and yet talk all the time.
I don't want to be the person I think I'm becoming.
I don't want to be who I used to be either.

I'd accommodate for anything around the middle...window seat please.

Una vuelta de tortilla

Me gustó reencontrarme con mi viejo blog...es lindo ver que uno estaba importantemente "damaged" (porque suena mejor así) y eventualmente las cosas mejoraron....se hizo la luz!

Me gustó reencontrarme con una yo más pura, menos lastimada, con menos experiencia...y ver como los problemas de ayer son ínfimos...lo que me da esperanza que los de hoy sean ínfimos mañana.

Espero.

A todos los que alguna vez leyeron esto..y en una de esas siguen leyendo.

Gracias.

Y a todos mis afectos: Los adoro.

Beso

Lady

Back in Black.....Velvet....

Bueno, estoy de vuelta, hay quienes dicen que no existen las casualidades....yo creo en la señales, signos de que algo anda mal.
Recibí a mi e-mail una notificacion de un comment en este texto....(irrelevante de que era el comment...era spam)

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Te lo digo ya, por validez de fecha :P (aunque tarde)

Deje de escribir en este blog en el 2006...y la persona a quién le dedique ese texto en el 2005 no me habla más porque aparentemente nuestra amistad no es tan importante como su pareja.
Evidentemente o me equivoqué en cuanto al tipo de persona que era, o me equivoqué al creer que era ínfimamente importante para él.
De todas maneras, mantengo mi postura, no me voy a caer del planeta así como así porque alguien te dice que quiere que no exista.

EXISTO.

FUI PARTE DE TU VIDA.

DEAL WITH IT.

Y realmente creo que te importa una mierda lo que escribo, o que te mande algún mensaje o mail...pero sigo intentando, porque para mi si existís, fuiste parte de mi vida, y nunca quiero que dejes de serlo.
Y espero que cuando dentro de un tiempo quiera que seas padrino de alguno de mis hijos no me digas, "no, porque no se supone que deba hablarte."

You matter to me,

Te quiero.

and I hope u still know who you are....and take this message seriously.