There's this song I enjoy listening to nonstop...acoustic version only, poker face. I believe music can cover almost any state of mind, of heart, of heartbreak.
There are only a couple other things that reflect it...in my case...my writing, my health and my ability of speech.
I guess there's not much to it really, just random shocks of light between certain parts of my nervous system. Things have become quite dull lately. Work, sleep, food...I'm starting to think that there's really nothing that nourishes me...or maybe I'm just too tired of trying to find whatever it is.
The truth is, I've never considered that things might just happen for no reason at all...I need to believe there is a connection, a cause and a consequence. But I don't seem to find them at all. It's frustrating in a whole new level.
I used to find myself completely amazed when I met certain people. I used to sculpt statues commemorating them in my mind, with beautifully entwined words of awe, of praise, growing around them like poison ivy.
I don't know if I've finally achieved that "level up" in my subconcious, or if I'm just not getting any younger and age is starting to eat up my reaction to awesomeness...or perhaps statues were made based on false foundations and my inner engineer is telling me to tear them down.
I believe there's nothing wrong with growing up, as long as you don't grow old in the process...age gracefully...that's something to take into account, only soul-wise.
Perhaps there is nothing I can do about it and I'm finally doomed to become one of those people who really have nothing to say and yet talk all the time.
I don't want to be the person I think I'm becoming.
I don't want to be who I used to be either.
I'd accommodate for anything around the middle...window seat please.
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